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경청

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경청

• David Chung • 리더십 블로그

좋은 리더가 되기 위해 필수불가결한 기술 중 하나는 커뮤니케이션 능력이다. 우리는 ‘커뮤니케이션’을 말할 때 언제나 정확하게 표현하는 것만을 생각하는 경향이 있다. 그러나 경청이야말로 커뮤니케이션의 아주 중요한 요소이다.

대다수 아내들이 남편을 향해 갖은 불평은 남편들이 아내들의 말을 경청하지 않는다는 것이다. 많은 사람들은 자신이 듣기 원하는 말만 듣고 나머지 말에는 귀를 닿아버리는 경향이 있다. 상담자가 내담자의 말을 경청하지 않는다면 효과적인 상담은 불가능하다. 상대방이 말한 것을 들어야하고, 상대방이 말하지 않은 것을 들어야하며, 상대방이 하는 말의 차원을 뛰어넘어 말의 의중을 듣고 보아야 한다. 리더에게 청취 능력은 꼭 개발해야 할 습관이다.

고대근동이라는 ‘다신론’ 사회속에서 하나님의 속성에 대해 이스라엘 백성에게 주어진 하나님의 말씀 중 가장 중요한 것 중 하나는 아마 ‘쉐마’로 우리에게 잘 알려진 신명기 6:4일 것이다. “이스라엘아 들으라 (쉐마 이스라엘) 우리 하나님 여호와는 오직 유일한 하나님이시니.” 히브리어 쉐마의 기본형인 ‘샤마’ (שָׁמַע) 는 ‘듣다,’ ‘경청하다,’ ‘순종하다’ 의 의미를 가지고 있다. 상대방의 말을 듣되 주의를 기울여 경청한다면 상대방의 의중을 깨달아 순종하기 쉬울 것이다. 여호와가 사울에게 기름부어 그를 이스라엘의 왕으로 세웠기 때문에 사울은 여호와의 말씀을 들어야한다고 사무엘은 강조했다 (삼상 15:1). 여호와의 말씀을 귀기울여 경청한 이후 순종해야 한다는 의미이다. 경청의 결과 사울이 구제적으로 순종해야할 항목은 3 절에 나열되어있다. “지금 가서 아말렉을 쳐서 그들의 모든 소유를 남기지 말고 진멸하되 남녀와 소아와 젖 먹는 아이와 우양과 낙타와 나귀를 죽이라.” 물론 사울은 이 명령을 순종하지 않았다.

사무엘은 달랐다. 10-11절에서 그는 자신에게 임한 하나님의 음성을 분명하게 들었고 (샤마), 다음 날 아침 일찍 길을 떠나 사울을 만났다 (12-13절). 사울이 하나님의 명령을 행하였다고 보고하자 사무엘은 자신의 “귀에 들려오는 (샤마) 이 양의 소리와 소의 소리” (12절) 는 어찌 된 것인가라고 질문한다. 사울은 하나님의 말씀을 경청 (샤마) 하지 않았으나 사무엘은 하나님의 말씀 뿐 아니라 양과 소가 내는 소리 조차 경청 (샤마) 하고 있다. 결국 19절에서 사무엘은 사울을 정면으로 질책한다. “어찌하여 왕이 여호와의 목소리를 청종(샤마) 하지 아니하고 탈취하기에만 급하여 여호와께서 악하게 여기는 일을 행하였나이까?” 사울의 변명도 경청에 대한 것이다. “나는 실로 여호와의 목소리를 청종 (샤마) 하여 . . . 아말렉 왕 아각을 끌어 왔고 아말렉 사람들을 진멸하였으나 다만 백성이 . . .” (20-21절). 이에 맞서는 사무엘은 역시 경청의 문제를 지적한다. “사무엘이 이르되 여호와께서 번제와 다른 제사를 그의 목소리를 청종 (샤마) 하는 것을 좋아하심 같이 좋아하시겠나이까? 순종이 제사보다 낫고 듣는 것 (샤마) 이 숫양의 기름보다 나으니 . . . 왕이 여호와의 말씀을 버렸으므로 여호와께서도 왕을 버려 왕이 되지 못하게 하셨나이다” (22-23절). 사울이 왕으로 선택된 이유는 여호와의 말씀을 경청하여 순종하게 하는 것이었다. 그런데 그가 왕위를 빼앗긴 이유는 여호와의 말씀을 경청하여 순종하지 않았기 때문이다.

리더에게 경정의 능력이 없다면 리더는 위대한 조직을 만들어 낼 수 없다. 다 망한 크라이슬러를 다시 세계적인 자동차 회사로 회생시켜낸 전설적인 CEO 리 아이아코카는 경청의 능력에 대해 이렇게 말했다. “평범한 회사를 위대한 회사로 만드는 능력은 청취의 능력이다.” Larry King Live 로 널리 알려진 토크쇼 호스트 레리 킹은 매일 아침 다음의 말로 자신의 주의를 상기시킨다. “오늘 내가 하는 어떤 말도 나를 가르치지는 못할 것이다. 내가 오늘 무언가를 배우고자 한다면 나는 타인의 말을 경청해야 한다.” 입은 하나인 반면 귀가 둘인 이유는 어쩌면 말하는 것 보다 듣는 것이 더 중요하기 때문인지도 모른다.

자신의 저서 <리더십 골드> 에서 죤 멕스웰은 경청의 효과를 이렇게 나열한다. 1) 경청해야 배울 수 있다; 2) 경청해야 문제가 커지는 것을 막을 수 있다; 3) 경청해야 조직 활동이 향상된다. 지도자가 조직 구성원의 말을 경청할 때 조직은 질적, 양적으로 향상된다. 남편이 “아내의 조용한 부탁에 귀를 기울인다면 아내가 소리지르는 것을 듣지 않아도 된다”는 체로키 인디언의 금언에 리더는 귀를 기울어야 한다.

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